Japanese Graveside Visit （Hakamairi) 墓参り

Only the silent
Wind, rolling among the trees
Stone bound forest

How I got there

This is a graveyard on Mt. Roko, a short drive out of Tondabaya City, Osaka. Apparently this area is well known in Kansai, as I showed a photo of the mountain to a friend and she knew exactly where it was. I came here with friends during a meinichi 命日(Death Anniversary) for the family patriarch. Following a Buddhist ceremony at the family shrine, 仏壇　（ｂｕｔｓｕｄａｎ）, we drove to the graveyard, 墓地　（ｈａｋａｃｈｉ）．

The graveside ceremony

First we removed the old offerings from the grave. This included flowers, incense, and food containers. Then we washed the gravestone. This was very interesting. At the front of the graveyard were small buckets and ladles along with spigots. As we entered the cemetery we picked up a few buckets, ladles, and filled the buckets with water. Ladling water from the bucket we ceremoniously poured water over the gravestone cleaning off dirt, dust, and flower pedals.

After washing off the grave we made a new offering which included flowers, incense, and shochu. Apparently my friend's father enjoyed the specific type of Japanese Shochu (alcohol) that we offered to him that day.

After cleaning off the 'gravestone' 墓、（ｈａｋａ), my friend's mother recited a Buddhist prayer, お経　（Ｏｋｙｏｕ），　while kneeling at the grave. She recited the sutra while counting the stanzas using her Buddhist prayer beads, 数珠　（Ｊｕｚｕ）．　　The two or three minute hypnotizing prayer was made even more impressive because it was recited from memory. (I'll attach the sutra to this post once I find it!)
-A photo of the cleansing utensils as you enter the graveyard.
The Japanese Gravestone

The Japanese Graveyard is very different from Western style cemeteries. The first impression you get is how crowded the cemetery is. The next thing you notice is the design of the 'tombstones' which are completely different. Japanese tombstones are usually inter an entire family not just a single individual.

Another difference you may notice is that the tombstone has writing in black ink and red ink. There will be a long string of Kanji that includes the family name as well as the family patriarchs name. Around this one can see smaller names written on the gravestone. These names are the other members of the family. Black names are those names of people who are deceased and entombed at the grave site. Names in red are the names of those still living.

Daughter's names are not included on the family gravestone. It is expected that they will be added to the gravestone of the family they marry into.

During O-bon festival, Families will travel to their ancestor's graves to pay respects.

The Japanese are far more 'in-tune' with their families past as well as honoring the family members who came before them. I can think of only once that I visited my family's grave site in Pittsburgh. I think that because Americans are so transient in nature and set on living not only in the 'now' but so much looking ahead, that we set little time aside for reflecting on how we arrived at our present location.



The graveyard at Daitokuji



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